Impermanence. There you have it. That is the lesson of loss. Everything we have is just barely slipping through our fingers all the time. I had never heard of a sand mandala prior to meeting my husband. And I'll be darned if every life lesson I have had in recent years all comes down to a dang sand mandala.
It's all fleeting. Appreciate this moment in front of you and create beautiful things /relationships/memories when you can. I could labor over the loss of those words I took time pouring over in the last hour, desperately trying to recreate them. Or I could move on, learn a lesson from my loss and create something new.
We miss you Margaret Tham. Your silence over the last two years has been surely tough to handle. I have felt robbed by and at peace with your malignancy, enraged and blunted by your untimely loss all at the same time. I have yearned for a few more minutes, one more phone call, one last question, a small piece of advice. Searched for you when I found a dish you would have loved to eat, a dance you would have wanted to learn. But all I have is a legend, a memory that kindly polishes up the good times and slowly blurs the edges of squabbles and harsh words. I remember a great woman.
A woman who would give me permission to find joy again despite the awful thing that happened to her. Permission to create something intricate, special and complicated with my own life...knowing all the while that it too will be delicately brushed away, its individual colors indiscernible with time one day despite how beautiful and rich it may have been.
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