New York, New York

I used to be a New York City girl. Manhattan was the center of my universe and I could have never imagined a future anywhere else. The energy of that city is incomparable.
Now a Washingtonian, with DC in big letters on my daughter's birth certificate, my mortgage and driver's license... I still manage to fit in my New York roots into every conversation. Is this a longing for the past, an inability to move forward from memories of close girlfriends and the best restaurants? Or is it something more? Does my current city just lack that fundamental pulse of life?
I have more "things" here. A bigger home. A car. Three strollers. I am not sure that any of those things matter. When I think about where I want home to be, where I want Maika to run and laugh and become who she is, I have a hard time muddling through what is truly important to me. I dream of Mill Valley with a beach 7 miles away where flaxen-haired, sturdy girls befriend my daughter and they all climb trees together in some sort of treehouse paradise. I dream of Austin, Texas where I can have land for days, exposure to music, food, art, weirdness and good manners. I dream of a return to Brooklyn one day, where my husband and I are reunited with our oldest and dearest friends and we browse the Brooklyn Flea with Maika, roam through Prospect Park, show her where we were married.
We have made excel spreadsheets, bookmarked Trulia, RedFin, Houzz... It is an endless quest for answers and possibilities for an ideal life for our daughter, our family. I don't know where we will land or if we will ever take flight. There is good stuff here too and I find in my adult life it takes a little longer to make connections and find kindred spirits. I am just starting to feel more at home here.

So what do I really care about?

Safety first! I want Maika to walk home from school and not have a drunk, wrinkled man asking her for cash. I want her to love birds and grass and not be scared of nature (admittedly I squealed like an eight year old at the DC arboretum this weekend after being stung by a wasp).
I want her to be confident and healthy, surrounded by a strong community of like minded kids. Where is this place? Is it just where my husband and I make it? Does geography matter?
We are still figuring it out. For now, I am thankful for our local Taqueria where the waitresses fill my daughter with avocados and kisses. I am weirdly obsessed with the Zoo and live within walking distance of elephants, flamingos and orangutans. I need to live a little more in the present.
Right now matters most.