Puke much?

Four years of medical school, four years of residency, hemorrhaging postpartum women, vaginal breech deliveries....nope, none of those prepared me for taking care of my own sick, puking daughter.

I have always considered myself pretty damn cool under pressure. In my personal life I am not exactly a hard, tough tiger lady. In my professional world, though, I can tell you there is little that can make my heart race, my palms sweat, raise my eyebrow even. I have two personalities, formerly Dr. Tham and Mrs. Metz. Unlike Mr. Hyde, Mrs. Metz is not a murderous villain or maniac, but she is emotional, often driven by deep-seeded mommy issues and has a tempestuous attitude at times. Dr. Tham is cool as a cucumber.
Where was Dr. Tham last night when a vomit-soaked Maika Tham Metz appeared on our video baby monitor at 915 PM, her hair drenched and face dripping? Dr. Tham was not on call.
My heart raced, my stomach dropped, and I leapt off the couch. A third character appeared, Mom. Mama. Mee-maw. Seeing your nine-month old daughter sick, covered in banana chunks and old Pedialyte is an easy reminder of your own mortality, vitality, capacity. It is also such an unbelievable bonding moment between parents. I saw my husband as a hero in some Harlequin romance novel, tearing up the stairs with me to rescue our little nugget.
So, Bath #4 of the day commenced. I found my soothing singing voice and made up words to the popular nursery rhymes we didn't sing in my Chinese American home. And I thought.
I thought long and hard about when I would come home from college and have a slight cough in the middle of the night, I would wake up with my mother standing over me in my bedroom. I remember how that used to irritate me to no end. How I thought my mom was a weird, crazy overprotective lady.
Last night, we slept in my daughter's room and I think I hovered over her bed so much that my back aches a bit this morning.
I will be a weird, overprotective lady. I will wear mom jeans one day so I don't embarrass my daughter with my clothes that are Too Young, Mom! I will do it, I will share these frightening, tachycardia-inducing moments with my husband and I will be strong. Dr. Tham and Mrs. Metz, you are not needed here.
Momma's here. I just didn't know we were the same person.
Xo
M